My Wish

I would like to dedicate this to someone out there whom I had such a great time with for the past weeks. Even the time is just a short term, I'll remember that for a long long time.....

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Back 2 Blog!

Hahahaha..... Hello there!!! Seems like it's been too long I did not update my blog. Why you may ask....... It's because I've been busy playing with Facebook..... LOL! Got too addicted to it until I forgotten my fans in this blog here..... Hahahahahaha.... I know some of you here (Ahem!) been refreshing you Mozilla Firefox explorer a few times a day just to see if I update my blog. Sorry you have to spoilt your F5 key on your keyboard......My appology......

So what have I been doing since Thursday? Alot! Where should I start with huh? Ok Ok.... Most my blog content are filled with love story, so I'll start with my love story first la... :p Anxious? Patient la..... Jeng Jeng Jenggggggg.....

I got to know this gal..... from ermm.... Face.....ermmm.....book.... yeah.... she's a nice gal... Infact, we are in the middle of video cam conference as we speak. We exchanged mails for quite sometime now.... never meet before... UNTIL the last Saturday, I asked her out, well..... I never expect her answer to be yes actually.... :p I was kindda over joyed when she actually wanted to meet me too. So we set a place and time....... That Saturday was way too long to pass for me.... minutes passed turn to hours.... hours turns to years!! (Over!) LOL.

Anyway, Sunday did actually came..... I drove to that place and waited for her....... I think I was a bit late and I was afraid she has gone because I was late (as I SMS her and no reply) Anyway... I bought my drink already so Ijust stay put hoping she will come..... WOILA! A familiar face that I saw in my Facebook appears.... there she is.... Phew! So we sat down and had some light lunch and drinks and chats.... We were there for about 4 hours I think... LOL. It was nice to chat with her... and she look lovely.... Can't help my eyes looking at her... :P Now... that 4 hours past just like a speeding bullet.... It's like I blink for 4 times only..... Kakakakaka.....

So after we go seperate ways.... we still do keep contacting each other every day and night.... ermm.... mostly at night.... hehehehe..... until at this moment, we typing each other's blog... Hahahahaha..... What goes on after this? Stay toon!!!

Next, I suddenly became the architect of my company.... Hahahah... One fine morning, my boss's sexytary called me and say the BIG Boss wants to see you...... I was like HUH?! I thought he saw me 2 days ago..... and now again?? Jeng Jeng Jenggggggg..... walked into his office.... "Ermm..., Mr. So n So.... you wanted to see me?" He looked up and said " Yeah! Sit! Sit! I have something for you" I was like thinking " Oh shit! Did he saw me playing Facebook in the office?" My eyes searched around his table looking for a BIG envelope but I don't see it...

Then he said "Mike, I want you to in-charge of getting the plan and layout for our new office and also the renovations of the current office" PHEW!!!!! My cold sweats were actually reached my b***s and it was really cold! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Something New

Recently I just got hooked up to this website and it was fun by just going in there..... Hehehehe...... Yeap! It's Facebook! The interface might look abit complicated when you are using it for the first time but after awhile you will get used to it so easily and hooked up to it for hours... just like me! LOL

So anyone out there want to add me to their list? Search for me then but you won't find Belik in there. LOL! OK. For those who doesn't know how to search for me, here the link to it. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=613191621

Time to check my facebook again! WoooHooo!!!

Finding the path......

Here's my mood at this time... :p


Hugh Grant - Way Back Into Love

[Verse 1](Drew Barrymore)
I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

(Hugh Grant)
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

[Chorus](Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.Oooooh.

[Verse 2](Drew Barrymore)
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!

(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

[Chorus](Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!
Oooooooh, Ooooooh, Ooooooh.

[Middle-eight](Drew Barrymore)
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

[Chorus](Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!
Oooooooh. Oooooooh. Ooooooooh. Oooooooh. Ooooooh Ooooooooh. Ooooooooh.

Identity

Everyone has an identity of themself. Why do you need to hide about yourself? Since you all like to say, GOD creates us, GOD carves us out into this world. Well, why need to hide if that's the case? Just show yourself and tell the world who you are. Either you are ugly or pretty, fat or slim or petite, short or tall, specs or no specs..... who cares? God creates us for a reason. So there is no need to hide...... Show yourself and be brave about it. Be responsible of what you did. Do not do something and hide like a mouse....... Show yourself!!!

By the way, I'm a free thinker but I still show myself. I'm not ashame of what I've done because I know what I've done does not hurt anyone.

So do not speak of God if you do not appreciate what He has created for you.

New Book

Ok la.... Since so many of you complaining about me letting go my frust, I stop complaining lor.... Anyway, nothing much for me to tell today..... It's still early now and there's nothing happened to me so far..... LOL. No work no calls no boss!! Yahoo!!!

To Anon#2, sorry to dissapoint you and wasted your energy pressing F5 all the time. LOL.

How would you feel?

When you do something or bought something for your bf/gf, and he/she tells everyone that she got it all by herself and it's her own effort that got it, how would you feel? It's not that we want to have that kind of credits, it's the appreciation and telling people how much you love or care for someone. That's what I need. Not telling everyone around that I don't love her while holding in the hands is the IPod Video that I gave it to her. Is that love? Is that appreciation?

So I took it back. Yes! I know I'm such a ba$t@rd to take it back but what the hell. How would I be able to stand there and watch her sharing the headphones of the IPod that I bought with another guy? Why do I want to give her the phone that I bought for her to call her scandals using the 3G? Why must I let her have a luxury lifestyle when she puts me into this kindda situations? Ok la. The clothes and the bags and the shoes, I let her keep it, I got no use for it also. Well, nevertheless, she took back her stuff also. Who took whose things first?

Today, I just got to know that she had been spreading bad words about me to her colleagues and friends. Sighs. I don't care anymore, she wants to have that bitchy mouth then it's up to her. I don't want to know anymore. And I got to know she is out with another guy who is rich!!! Hahahahaha..... Such a money minded bimbo..... I bet she must be begging for money right now.....

The Holidays are over!!

Welcome back to working days! LOL. I feels great to be going back to work tomorrow. Anyway, I had a great weekend that I spent with a friend of mine. ;) Well, it's obvious it's a she. We went out together and had so much fun together. My gf? Ermmmm.... Not yet.... Hehehehe.....

By the way, I went to a Mac shop the other day and check out this new cool gadget that they recently launched. Yeap! It's the new Ipod Touch!!!!! Been drooling for it since they launched in US. Yeah... That's my new target for my gadget collection. Before buying it, I'm planning to sell of my Ipod Video... Any interested party? Hehehehehe.... It's 80Gb Ipod Video. Interested? Call me and ask me. :)

How many times?

Forgiveness...... How many times can you forgive someone who hurts you or lie to you or cheat you? When you start to forgive, that's when you heal? Is that true? How can you forgive someone who has betray you? I get alot of comments says, time will heal.... time will heal.... time will heal........ When is that time? How long more do I have to wait? What's more do I need to do to be healed? Until I found someone who really love me and willing to sacrifice anything for me? Love maybe, but sacrifice for me, hmmmm...... is it worth it?

She said she is willing to wait for me, and take all my cruel attitude towards her....... but is it worth it? How long will you wait? How long will you take all those painful words from me? I just don't know when I will overcome the fear of loving someone...... To me, right now, is to work and work and work...... That's my priority right now, because works make me forget my life....... Everyday, I was hoping my boss will come and tell me, "Belik, I need you to go Singapore/Thailand/Shanghai/Jakarta/Canada/US/Europe/Maldives to do something" ARGH!!!! At least when I leave the country I might feel better........ :p

Thank God It's Friday!

Every minutes is passing very slowly. Looking forward to go back home and sleep today. It's so boring today...... :( Anyway, I've make out some posibilities of who Anon#2 is......... Someone from friendster.....someone who stays in PJ....... someone whom I have never meet before...... someone whom refreshing my blog now and then...... LOL. That's a good start.

Some people might say I don't know how to appreciate what I going on around me right now. Some people might say, just becareful of what is going around me now. Some may even say, give yourself more time to heal and then only think about it. I would say, I want to be alone and think about it. Think of which one to choose..... Think of what will happen if I choose that....... Think of the consequences......

Have you ever feel that you are being loved and cared crazy-ly? Someone who likes you so much until they want to be with you every single day and night. I don't know about myself, but I felt scared. I felt like I'm being pushed to a corner and I got no where to run. I felt like I'm struggling for space and air. Sighs..... So hard to tell la.....

Will you compare?

If you have a bf........ will you compare what he has done for his ex-gf and what he has done for you? Or better still, what he has given to the ex-gf and also to you? OK. Maybe you will you won't because it's a small item but what if it's a car? What if your bf bought a car for his ex-gf and he did not even buy you a bicycle for you? Would you compare that he loves her more that he love you? How about diamond ring? How about a holiday package to somewhere? Will you compare that? I wish I could get some comment from the girls here and also from the guys. Will you guys compare what she has done for her ex-bf with you?

Who is more ego?

Man or women? Which one more ego? Same? Hard to say? Not definite answer? Is it hard to say you are sorry? Is it hard to say you miss someone? Is it hard to say that you want to meet that person? Sighs......

Why is there ego exist in the first place? Why must there be ego in between a couple/lover after being together for some time? What is ego?

It's Going To Be Long Day

Came back last night at 4am from a pool club in Sunway. Tried to wake up at 6am....... but because being too tired...... I laze on the bed till 7am....... Thinking that I have a meeting this morning, I was very reluctant to wake up but I had too...... Sigh.....

On my way to work this morning..... I almost killed someone on the road....... Well, what happened was, the road nearby my office that going towards KL (I'm going the opposite way). You know those motorcyclist like to ride in the middle of the road and squeezing thru the traffics? Yeah.... just like in the TV advertisement. This motorcyclist was riding in the middle of the road and there was this car coming out of the junction. Both can't see each other coming because there was a traffice jam at that time. BANG! And I was coming from the opposite side and I saw it right infront of my eyes. Seeing that, I slam on my break and tried to stop but the road was wet (It was a wet morning) and my car is still skidding forward. The motorbike was flung to my side of the road (there were 2 lanes on my side and I was in the second lane) and the rider was rolling on the road on the other lane. I knew I will not stop in time, so it's either I hit straight to the bike or I sway to the right and hit the rider or to the left and goes into the drain. Well, ofcourse I choose the bike. LOL. Bloody hell. Just nice when my car touch the bike, my car stops. Phew...... Pulled over to the side of the road and check on my car.... DAMN! A crack on my number plate! Then I check on the rider and he was limping towards the drain side and sit's there....... Serve him right! Let him alive to remember it! Since it's not my problem I continue drive to office and enjoy my nasi lemak nearby my office acting like nothing happened........

To Anon#2

Such a sleepy and slow day. Been cracking my head since this afternoon wondering who is Anon#2. LOL. Anyway, thanks for dropping by to my humble blog. LOL. I'm still wondering do I know you in person?

When I was taking bath this morning (Don't peep huh!) and suddenly this alphabet "W" comes into my mind. Hahahahaha..... Don't know why. I was thinking how did that "W" comes about. Then when you pronounce it, you will realise that it comes from the alphabet "U". When you combines 2 "U" together you will get "W" and the pronouciation for it is "Double U". Hahahahahaha..... Am I correct?

When you are in a relationship, you will think that you know your partner very well. How do you know that you know that person as well as what you think? You may know him/her about what he/she does when you see it. But how do you know when he/she does something that you will never be able to see it? Can you really tell how a person is feeling right now by just looking at his/her face? You really tell what he/she is thinking by just staring at their eyes?

As for me, I'm a kind of person who will keep my mouth shut when someone does something that I don't like. I know it's not good, but my principle is to avoid arguements. But ofcourse, when you are angry at someone, your face could not hide it for long. I would show my long face and just keep quiet even thou someone tries to ask me what is wrong. Alot of girls will get me wrong when they see me like this, they would think I don't love them anymore la.... I hate them la... and whatever shits la..... but will they think what they have done wrong and make me so piss off with them? Will you girls out there think what have you done wrong? OK. So when I spit it out, they would say, "Ahhhhh! It's all your fault, you always show me the long face and I don't like it so I do it more la" WTF!!!!

So do you think you know your spouse or lover very well? Oh, by the way, I'm a scorpion and my signs really describe myself very truely.

Materialistic

LOL. I didn't thought my previous blog will cause such controvesial with all those comments. And I was laughing at myself when I was being called Belik. Anyone has any idea what Belik stands for? For a hint, it's a native word in Sarawak or maybe some in Sabah. Anyway, since we are talking about this topic, there's a story I want to share with you and maybe you could give a comment or two. It was a true story that I read from somewhere.

There was this girl, who has a bf. (yeah, yeah.... same old story) LOL. Read on first. One day, there is this another guy asked her out and said he has something to show her, while she was at work. Since she got no other time to go out with this guy because she has a bf so she decided to lie to her boss that she need to go somewhere and pick up some stuff during lunch time. So the guy brought her out to somewhere in the city and they went to this huge mall with 2 tall building. (You figure out where la) They went to a watch shop and this guy went to the lady in the shop and talk to her something while she was looking around in the shop. Minutes later, this guy told the lady that he wanted to buy a watch there. And it's a limited edition watch which cost RM34K. He reach down to his pocket while this girl who he went out with is watching what he is doing. He took out a bunch of cash and paid the watch with it. Upon seeing the cash this girl was like going nuts and surpised that he actually bought the watch with cash. Ofcourse, when he turn around to look at her, she might look somewhere else and act nothing happen and continue looking at some watch in the shop. After making the payment, he approach her and ask her, "Do you want anything?" "Ermmm... you buying for me?" she said jokingly. "No problem" replied the guy. Thinking that this is the first time they go out, it's not nice to ask anything from a guy, so she replied "Maybe you could get me one of those for Christmas present!" The moment she reach back to home, she tells everyone how cool is that guy to whisk out a bunch of cash to buy that watch. End.

So what did that guy showed to her? SHOWING OFF his money! And the girl? Materialistic? To me, what I see is that, the guy is just trying to impress her with his thick wallet/pocket. After 2 days he might have return the watch to the shop!!!! Hahahahaha..... Those kindda shop has money back guarantee you know. Especially if you purchase it with cash.

So what do you think of this story eh? It sounds like those stupid blonde bimbo story. HAHAHAHA!

A Real Wake Up

This morning was not a very pleasant start of day for me. Imagine when we see each other every time and we argue. It's like the moment we open out eyes and we argue. Sighs. Both's ego are as high as Himalaya Mountain. How to compromise? It's best to split up I guess. No point going on seeing each other.

So today we split our stuff. She took her stuff and I took back mine. Things that she never appreciated. Things that she think is not enough for her. Once she said, love is not everything in a relationship....... material things comes together in the package. Oh boy. I don't know about you girls who is reading this but do think that is true? Do you think that we, the guy, have to give you material things to show you how much we love you? How about the unseen things? Time? Care? Holdings your hands while crossing the road? When you in need of help, we were there for you and help you? Going thru your pain together? Financially support you when you were hungering for the month end pay check?

Yes, it's true, sometime somethings there we give and take as well. But what is the percentage? Well, I've seen alot of girls going thru a process of "EVOLUTION". When they were studying or they got no source of income, and SO happen they found a working boyfriend. She'll stick by him because she feels secured together with him. Then this guy will feel secured and happy too because he knows she feels that way, so this guy will shower her with love and gifts and sometime money. After a few years pass by and this guy will have to somehow reduce those expensive shower because the courting period is over and it's time to think of their future together. So this girl will feels that the shower is getting lesser and lesser each passing years...... Because of she so used of getting a heavy shower, she got uneasy and feels that his shower does keep up to her standard but she still stays on. Till the year she starts working, meeting people out there. So this is where she knows how to shower herself, but being just out in the industry, her shower might be still small and still not enough for her, so still sticks by his shower. After a year or so, her shower got bigger and she feels that his shower does not makes a different to what she has right now..... And that's where she will walk out of the shower of his with her own shower and look for WATERFALL! How about that? The guy being the shower all time has no chance to be a waterfall because of constant showering her........ Is that what a relationship all about? Where is the grateful feelings? Where is the appreciation? Where is the love? Love for the shower and waterfall? Or the guy just being stupid?

ARGH!!!!! I don't know what I'm writing also. Try to understand it if you can....... Crap!!!

What should I do?

I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. It seems it's hard for me to remember what love is anymore. How does love feels like? I'm numb. It's like my door to my heart is being shut tight. I want to open up but it seems that door is shut too tight and I can't open it.

After the last relationship, I felt that it's very hard for me to trust someone. I felt myself very fragile and I may break down anytime soon. It's not that I don't want to give anyone a chance, it's just that I need more time to heal I guess. I felt so miserable for the past 2 weeks. I don't know how to confess my feelings even thou someone confessed it to me their feelings. It's hard for me. I felt so insecure. It's not fair to me and also to anyone. I had to reject the love and I know I might regret it soon or later, but what I know, it's not the right time at the moment.

At the moment, I could see that I'm a damn evil person. I would say I don't miss you. I would also say, I don't want to see you anymore. I would say I have never wanted to care about you. I would say please leave me alone and forget about me. Yeap. That's me right now. Maybe I still afraid of being in love. Maybe I just need more time. Maybe........

A Night With Music

Went out with a group of my friends to karaoke last night at 1 Utama. My first time there. Had a blast there with all of them. And most of it, all of them are girls! LOL. It was fun. Sing till my throat swell........ The package was a good deal I would say. RM44 plus plus for a person, and they included buffet dinner with oyster, sushi, muscle, and some other seafoods and asian foods. It was worth it. We even smuggled a bottle of Jim Bean in there. Hahahahaha....

Been busying upgrading my computer OS today. Yeap. It's Vista. Found that it's not really user friendly as Windows XP. But, what the hell, already formated my old system, so have to keep this Vista. There's alot of software that does not compatible with it. Crap! Have to search for the ones that are compatible to it. ARGHHH!!!

SIN - KL

Back at home at last.... Enough of travelling for the time being..... I hope... Reached at 1 U at 11.15pm..... waited for a cab but none..... Hmmmm.... waited another 15 mins... Arghhh.... WTH! Grab my bags and dragged myself to walk home..... Well, for the first 30 mins walk it was a nice and peaceful walk...... Then for the next 30 mins I was dying for an empty cab to pass by me.... Kept walking till left about 500m to my home, an empty cab pass by me!!!! *&^%$@!!!!

Stop by 7-11 and bought 2 bottles of Coke for my supply at home. Someone seem to stole my Coke from home during my trip at Turkey. Upon reach home, I'm expecting an email from a friend of mine.... Turned on the computer before even turing on the lights! LOL! Now cooling down myself before I take my bath.

Last night my friend called me up and scolded me that I forgotten his birthday...... Errrmmmm... My response to him " Are you a girl?" Hahahahahaha..... Got more scolding from him then..... Anyway, Happy Belated Birthday Wing Fatt!! Ohhh.... guess what? My birthday coming soon........ Hmmmm.... Anyone knows when? LOL. Make sure you ask me if you don't know so that you won't forget my present too..... LOL. Just kidding la.... I think my this year's birthday I want to do a big blast party..... Anyone want to join? Hehehehe....Why big u ask? Well.... it's my full one year of my 3rd decade in this life! Phew.... time flies eh? OK la.. gotta go take bath and then have my coke+black label=sleep.....! Unpacking? Nahh... tomorrow la....

By the window in Singapore

Sitting by the window overlook the street in Singapore and a couple of other hotels across the street, this is where I am right now and typing this blog. Just got back dinner with my colleagues in Singapore and back to hotel. Tried to catch some movie on the 32' LCD TV but nothing interest me....... Then slowly my brains suddenly became active and alot of stuff running thru my mind....... STOP!!!!!! WHAT AM I DOING HERE!!!!???? Stop thinking!!!!!

Grab my laptop and turned it on........ Adjust my laptop to find a strong signal for the free wi-fi here.... And found a spot just by the window.... And here I am..... Blogging...... LOL.... Dang! I have to stay awake to wait for my boss to arrive at 11pm later.... He will be sharing my room tonight because he wanted to take over my room when I leave tomorrow. Errrr..... There's 2 single bed in the room...... So nothing between me and him... Hahahaha.... Damn.... I can't stop thinking.....

Want to know what I'm thinking right now? Well, I've been thinking about my ex-gf right now....... Yeah...... I think this is what happen when you are alone and got nothing to do...... ARGHHH!!!!!! Keep blogging MICHAEL!!! Focus!!!!! Listen to Chris Daughtry!!!