M.I.A

Ahoi friends!

Sorry for being missing for awhile now. I know, I know. So what's new about me lately? Hmmmm.... Ok. Here goes. *crack* *crack*

For those who doesn't know, I have moved out from Damansara Perdana and currently now living in Bandar Sri Permaisuri. YUP! It's in Kepong and it seems that I'm moving further and further away from my work place. Oh well.... with all these price raising lately, I'm forced to move to a more affordable area. Nevertheless, this new place is bigger and more rooms. And yes, I'm not living alone ofcourse. With my girlfriend ofcourse. :p

What's more? Hhmmmm.... Work? Normal, still traveling here and there. Just came back from Bangkok but this time I brought my girlfriend along. 

Oh my.... What is going on in Malaysia? Our beloved country? *ahem* 

I guess, I'll stop now. Don't know what else to write. But it's a good start. Feels good too to be able to blog back. 

The Guilt

Today I heard on the radio about someone who had done something wrong but he/she won't feel guilty about it. How can someone feel that way? The answer is, that's because they have a mind set that if they don't do it, others might do it on them!!!! How ridiculous is that?! Have they no shame on themself?

This morning, it's about a guy who jumps queue at a traffic light. He dares to tell the whole Malaysia that he has no shame of what he did! He said if he don't do it, others might do it on him. So???!!!!???!!! Do you have to do it on other people who waited in line for so long? What kindda heart do you have for others? Don't you have the concern about how others would feel??!!! SHAME ON YOU!!! And you dare to say you don't feel guilty! SCREW YOU JACK ASS!!

The V Day....

14th January 2008.... Another month to go. Do anyone know what day is that going to be? Yup, Valentine's Day. How are you going to celebrate it? With your loves one? Ofcourse.....

That particular date, it was a sweet moment for me last time, and there was also one tragedy on that particular date for me. That was almost 6 years ago, and it's still fresh in my mind. That very day, 14th February 2002, tragedy happened. A day which I would remember till the day I die. A day that I almost lost my life. Also a day that I lost someone in my life. Sighs.

I'm so afraid of that day to come, but it has to come anyway.

Standing at the corner of the year....

I paused a little while. Took a deep breath. And I turned around. I'm seeing many things and people that happened in my life this year. The final days of the year is not even here yet. Lurking. Ready to take on us all. I'm through this year. Done! Finish! Having much anticipations and fears for the coming year. With so much uncertainties in store.

There was sweet, bitter, with wishes being fulfilled and dreams turned into nightmares. One last look. One final wave. And when I turn forward, I will have no regrets, no tears and no fears of my past. Just picking up the debris and mend all that is broken. Appreciate all that bequest upon me, but not forgetting learning the lessons and promises that I've made.

A year older, a year lived. Taking all my experiences with a pinch of salt and touch base with reality. Accommodating lost and feeling my way through a masquerade. I am still learning to endure these two very distinctive affairs in my life right now. So far, I’ve been euphoric and indignant along the way. I will survive.

Anticipate all and expects nothing. I think that helps in sincerity of giving over and over again.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

I live everyday, modestly; and ever gratified that I am alive. That I have so much to look forward to and have all the freedom to have it all. Life is really short. Know what you want and do your best to get it. I refuse to live wondering, but I can live knowing.

What a friend.....

Hey!! Come back!! I'm losing visitors here.... Maybe it's because I didn't update my blog very often lately. Sighs. Sorry guys. Been busy. Don't worry. I'll update my blog often in this coming new year. I'll put that in my resolutions list.

I was out the other day with my friends at the curve. 3 guys and a girl. Well, we were chatting and when the relationship topic comes out, this girl; C; told us that she is having a problem with her bf. -_-! And she told us her problem with her bf.... blah blah blah.... Then, one of my guy friend; A; started bombarding this girl's bf with all the bad words and stuffs like "He must be cheating on you!" "He is treating you like a freaking french maid" "He is just using you as a sex object" "He ain't worth it" "Lose him and find someone else" And some other things. You know I know.

I was like....... ermmm... speechless. Why the heck he would say such things if he doesn't even know this bf of her's personally? I just gave him a finger. That's all. And I drag my another guy friend; H; to the toilet. While walking to the toilet with him, I asked him, "Why the heck did A act like that?, Aren't he supposed to listen and comfort her? Why bombard the guy? He maybe not good but it's not up to us to judge". H said "A has a crush on C" AHHHHH!!!! Now I got it. Damn it.

Why does human have to act like this? Am I like the bf too? Being bombard by someone for not being there to listen to my gf? Or, am I like A? Which am I? Comes to think of it, I think I'm more like the first one. For not being there.

But is it necessary for someone else to curse you and talk bad about you infront of your gf? Good or bad, it's up to the gf to judge. Nobody is perfect. The bf could be better in something else that does attract the gf. And maybe that's what the gf wants in her life. It's just at times she hope the bf has the other better half. No point bad mouth the bf. If you want to win the girl's heart, do it the correct way. What way? Go figure out yourself! LOL. Damn A!

Hate you man!

Another year is almost become the past..... Another new year is coming....

It's been sometime I didn't update this blog. I know some of you out there is actually still comes in here and hoping that I update it. Sorry to disappoint you. It's kinda irritating when you logs in here and all you see is that song lyrics all over and over again. LOL. Before you start reading the next few lines of my pathetic blog, please wait till the song starts then continue. It's a wonder how someone could write and sing such a superb song.

Another new year is coming. Any plans of celebrating it? Any new year resolutions? Well, as for me, I have no new resolutions to vow. People do ask me, do I have any new resolutions? I just replied nope. To me, to make a new resolution, we don't need to wait till new year comes. We can make new resolutions as the time comes. Right? As long as we can keep up to the old ones, then only we can make a new one. No point making a new one when you can't even keep up to the old ones.

Summary of this year!! This year, I think it will be the most memorable one in my entire life. So many things, so many events, so many happiness, so many sadness, and so many people coming into my life. Anyone here interested of knowing them? Well, it's my blog, like it or not, I'm going to write it! Hahahaha! Let me try to recall everything now..... Hmmm....

January....... hmmm... nothing much..... went for a work trip to Canada..... was there for a week..... I was lucky enough to be the hotel's guest of the day and my room was upgraded to a Deluxe Suite which is a big surprise for me..... LOL..... Hmm.... What else? Able to feel how is it like to be walking 400m out in the street to a mall at the temperature of -17 degrees plus the strong wind from the north pole.... BBBBbrrrrrrrrrr...... Almost fainted halfway walking..... LOL Walking back to the hotel after shopping at the mall was so hard and I was so reluctant to do it...

Comes February..... Nothing much at the beginning of the month but drawing near CNY, I broke up with my gf (that time)..... Had an arguement..... So I went thru CNY being single this year.... Sighs..... But something happened on the following month.

March, got back together with her...... we told ourself that we will give another try to iron things out. We made a plan to stay together just by ourself and hope by doing this, we can have more privacy and spending quality time together more often at home.......

April arrives and we managed to get a place to rent in Damansara Perdana...... bought furnitures.... fridge..... tables.... chairs...... cabinets...... phewwwww!!! Can't imagine moving house is so difficult..... Sighs....

May...... Hmmm..... Her birthday......

June..... nothing much..... work and work and work.......

July....... Went to Shanghai for another work trip....... for 3 weeks this time....... and she went to Jakarta for work trip also.......

August..... things getting shaky.......

19th September 2007....... on my night of leaving to Turkey...... we broke up...... AGAIN! yeah.... screw it! Enjoyed myself in Turkey for 9 days! Doesn't even want to bother much...... came back and settle the stuff with her and off she go! Boleh Blah!....... Hahahahahaha......

October..... hmmmmm...... met a girl..... but it was just short and sweet.... but I just have no feelings for her..... Doesn't know why..... Just doesn't.... But I met another girl again..... I wasn't putting any hope on her at that moment we first met..... but after a few times we went out.... my heart keeps pumping faster when I wait for her to meet up...... and I got more anxious of seeing her everytime.... and I felt a scratch that actually created a spark!

November..... the month I was born 31 years ago...... had a small birthday party with her........ but it was perfect for me..... as long as I get to be with her...... even no party will be great for me too......

December...... a shitty month for me..... no comment.....

Looking forward for the new year to come.......

Just When I Needed You Most

This lovely song resembles what I'm going thru right now...... Got nothing more to say..... Sing together if you know this song..... Touchy..... Sad...... And beautiful song

Just When I Needed You Most - Dolly Parton

You packed in the morning
I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way
Now I miss you more
Than I missed you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
cause you left me
Just when I needed you most
Yes, you left me
Just when I needed you most
Now most every morning
I stare out the window
I think about where you might be
I've written you letters that I'd like to send
If you would just send one to me

cause I need you more
Than I needed before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
cause you left me
Just when I needed you most
Yes, you left me
Just when I needed you most

You packed in the morning
I stared out the window
And I struggled for something to say
You left in the rain without closing the door
I didn't stand in your way

Now I love you more
Than I loved you before
And now where I'll find comfort, God knows
cause you left me
Just when I needed you most
You left me
Just when I needed you most
Oh, you left me
Just when I needed you most

PCK #2

Finally I finished my drawing... Hehehehe.... After dragging it more than 2 weeks.... Too much of Facebook I guess.... LOL... I wonder how our new office will looks like by following my drawing... Kekekeke....

Last Sunday, I went out to buy my bedsheet, it seems to be quite tough for me to choose the correct color and design to fit into my humble crib. After walking up and down the same aisle for at least 30 mins (the sales girl was quite frust at me) then I took one on the aisle...... upon walking up to the cashier to pay for it..... I turned back!! Hahahahaha.... I just have the feeling that it's a wrong one! Wrong color, wrong design, wrong , wrong, wrong! Took it back..... and choose again. This time the sales girl just walk away from me.... Hahahahaha..... How pathetic! Anyway.... after another 15 mins I saw another that catch my eyes..... I thought AHA! THAT'S THE ONE! Took it.... doesn't think much more and made the payment. Bought another pillow as well. :p Upon reaching home, I quickly change the bedsheet, hoping my judgement is right. And.... I comes out quite nice! I like it! Phewwww.....

Just have to get used to live alone, you know? After the break up, it's like kindda difficult in some decision making, like the colors, design, etc n etc.... Sighs... Have to be some sort like independent in making those decisions.... LOL... Not really that tough after all.... I'll make it! :p

Nice?

When is my turn? Hmmm....

Attended my cousin's wedding last Thursday night. Upon reaching, I saw my mum and my dad was standing outside of the restaurant and they were chit chatting with their friends there... So I went to say hello to my uncles and aunties.... Some of them don't even recognise me!! Gosh.... Anyway, some of my uncles that remembers me (thank god!) introduces me as so and so's eldest son.... and they were like "OooHhhhhh!!" Sighs... Went to hang around my cousins and talked to them better.... LOL...

Anyway, as I walk towards the table, I saw more aunties and uncles across my table..... Errrmmm... Tried to avoid them but it's too late..... As I walked pass them while saying hello to them, one of the aunty caught my hand and asked me.... "Eh Belik, when is your turn ah?" Then the other aunty interupted before I could answer "Belik, how can you let your cousin marry first? He is so much younger than you!" (BTW, my cousin is 24 this year only) I was like... ermmm.... kept quiet for awhile... then my uncle said "Eh Belik, where is your girlfriend? Didn't come meh? Not free ar?" Finally I opened my mouth, at that very moment, I saw all their jaws opened..... waiting impatiently for my answers to all those questions..... "I broke up" And quickly they closed their jaw... LOL. It's a priceless moment for me.... Hahahahahaha...... But that's not all, another uncle ask "What happened? That girl can't wait for you anymore ah?" And they broke into laughter..... "No la..... It's me that can't wait anymore" I said..... LOL....

So I continue walking towards my table but another table of uncles and aunties coming up... sighs... Same story.. they stop me and asked me the same questions..... Sighs..... Another table.... And another table...... And another table....... Felt like going up to the stage and pick up the microphone and announce it to all so that I don't have to repeat so many times.... I thought rumours can spread easily.... but not that easy thou.... LOL.... Well...... the dinner was good..... It's been sometime I didn't attend a wedding dinner like this......

Well, the questions did not end that night...... The following day, I have to go to a company retreat....... When I met my boss at that very morning, he asked me "Hey Belik, when are you getting married?" I was like "!!!!!" LOL. Well..... I told him I'm still looking around..... Hahahaha... Well..... He get's the message then.... and he stops asking me....... but I think he told his wife after that...... How I know? Read on..... LOL...

On Saturday..... I was invited by an organization that helps family problems and anyone who wants advice about setting up a family...... (www.family.org.my) Check it out..... Anyway, I met his wife there (my boss) and she asked me "Hey, you came alone eh? Now single back eh?" I was like..... Ermmmmm...... how did you know that? LOL

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........... How long is the line somemore????

Hey, no one still can guess what's Belik stands for? Ok.... I'll tell you all now..... :P

Belik = Stupid (In Iban language)

Try replacing Belik with Stupid in my blog..... It's funny....... ROFL!!

My Wish

I would like to dedicate this to someone out there whom I had such a great time with for the past weeks. Even the time is just a short term, I'll remember that for a long long time.....

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big